Thursday, November 29, 2012

homecoming.

After we left the hospital and just before all of our out of town guests arrived, we had a few days at home just the three of us (with Byron in and out as well). Since I only got about 8 hours of sleep the entire three days we were in the hospital (I just couldn't sleep because I was so distracted by starring at our baby!) I was completely exhausted and still having trouble moving around normally after giving birth. It was so, so nice to have Max home that first week because it gave us a chance to spend some good quality time together and figure out how WE wanted to do things.

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We sat around the house talking about how beautiful our boy was. We went to doctor appointments and ran errands to the local hardware store. We even went out to lunch one afternoon! Never mind the fact that we forgot to bring a single thing with us... No diapers. No blankets. No spare clothes. Yep- we left the house with nothing but the baby and our happy little smiles. We were too distracted by the fact that we were getting out and doing things to worry about baby supplies! Parenting fail on day 5... sure to be followed by many, many more.

Which brings me to my next point- new babies, visitors and alone time. 

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I think having family and friends around at such a life changing time is so important. It is important for them to be involved so that they feel connected to the newest member of the family. It is amazingly helpful to have an extra set (or four) of hands to help out with not only the baby, but all of the other things around the house. Cleaning. Cooking. Laundry. Just to name a few...

Family and friends can be a welcomed distraction for new parents who might be worried or anxious about being all alone with their new baby. They can offer advice and assistance when asked or just sit and listen when the new parents need to vent or gush or just have someone to talk to!

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However, I think it is equally as important to make sure new parents take the time to be alone with their new baby. Having time just the two of you is vital for making sure you both feel involved and connected. As nice as it is to have someone else there to take a fussy baby off your hands, it is also important that the parents learn how to settle a fussy baby themselves. They need time alone to bond with their new baby and talk about how they are going to make everything work. How will they handle feedings? Diaper changes? Bath time? Middle of the night crying sessions?

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As hard as it is to find a healthy balance between having everyone around to help you out in those first few weeks and finding time for you to figure it out yourself, I think it is so important!

I have to be honest. When I first fell pregnant and talked to my parents about their plans to come over for Lachlan's arrival, I was a bit upset that they weren't going to be here for his birth (selfish, I know!). It was my first baby and I wanted my mamma there thankyouverymuch. But, because of several different circumstances, she couldn't fly over until a week or so after his due date. In hind sight (isn't that just a wonderful thing!) I am so, so thankful it worked out the way it did. Sure it was a bit sad not to having any family there the evening Lachlan arrived (in fact, the midwife kept asking us where our family was or if we needed to call anyone- which we simply replied... nope, it is just us today) it was equally as special because it was just the two of us. We had that first week together, figuring things out, making plans, going on outings with nothing but our baby. And wouldn't you know that the timing of my mom's arrival was just on cue. The day Max returned to work was the day I picked up Mimi from the airport!! Absolutely perfect timing if you ask me!

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So, the moral of the story here folks- don't be afraid to say no those first few weeks. No to extra house guests. No to babysitting your friend's kids. No to hosting a dinner party. While it is important to get back in to the swing of real life, make sure you take that time with just your spouse and get to know your new reality. Trust me, it is so important!

1 comment:

  1. love this Michelle! Baby Lachlan looks so precious! =) Larissa

    ReplyDelete

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